Speaking

I'm not as good at talking as I am at writing.  And that's not to say that I'm fabulous at writing.  I'm saying I do very poorly when talking.  Either I don't or - when I do - I stutter, stumble, mumble or make little sense.  Every once in a while I say something however, that is almost as honest, heart-spoken, and clear as when words come off my pen (or keyboard).  

At a party the other night I met a couple of people and one of them asked me what I do.  I replied candidly, "Nothing.  I don't do much..."  That was stupid, Andrea.  Recover, woman!  "I'm learning many things, but I wouldn't say I do anything, at least not well."  I wasn't saying to be mysterious or clever.  I didn't necessarily want to talk about it, but simply spoke the very thoughts that came to my head when he asked the question.  My answer was strange and I tried to recover - "I mean, my job is teaching.  I teach kindergarten."  .....awkward pause....  "I like it."   

Then this person asked what I was learning about.  

"Lots of things, I guess...how to knit...how to blog...how to be a good wife....a good friend...."  at this point I was feeling kind of silly, but I kept going.  "I have a lot to learn."  Like how to make small talk at parties, I'm thinking to myself.  I kind of wanted to crawl into a hole at that point.

At the risk of sounding egotistical, when I look back, I love what I said.  Quite simply - it's true and I just said what was on my heart.  Every day I'm learning something, and every day I'm reminded I have far to go in mastering that skill or relationship or ability.

"Hi, I'm Andrea.  And I'm learning."

She shoots....she scores!

Goals.  I'm not big on them.

However, I'm kind of at a place where I need them.  It's funny because one would think goals would be created when you have a vision and know exactly what you want.  For me, my goal-making was birthed out of not really being sure...about anything.  I think this path may be possible....these steps could be successful....Go

d might want this for me...but I'm not positive. Might as well pursue one of them than sit around and wonder.

It has been a lot of fun setting my goals and laying out plans to meet them.  For example I set Goal A and Goal B.  Under each goal, I listed three or so things of what I think those goals require of me long-term, i.e. how I plan to meet that goal.

Now, at the beginning of each week, I am laying out the specific actions for me to make steps toward reach

ing my goals.  Amazing, I know.  I will be writing a self-help book, Realize Your Dreams - See Your Success - Now!  Coming to stores soon.

So anyways, when I make these weekly goal-meeting plans, I'm writing it all down in my journal.  I love my journal.  I love the intimate writing experience between me and God.  Ever since my first prayer journal (Precious Moments) and first diary (Garfield - I know, right?), I've loved the secrecy of a private thought-space.  So naturally, my journal stays closed.  It looks cuter this way.  Unfortunately, I'm finding that when I write down things and then hide them with the cute but opaque covers of my journal, I tend to forget all the plans and goals I had.  

Good:

Bad:

So, while it is driving my slight ocd crazy, I'm leaving my journal out and open most of the time.  The accessibility has really worked so far - both days I've done it.  Ha.

I have some house-wifely duties I must get done now....and no, those weren't exactly on the goal list.

Today

Things that made me happy:

• Holding a week old baby

• Watching B play his bball game and discussing it afterwards

• Deciding not to exercise today  (I'll do it tomorrow.  Really.)

• Sharing advice with a new teacher

• Watching my kids dance the Hokey Pokey  (they've got some moves!)

• Making reservations for V-day at the best local Italian restaurant

• My pink camisole