Day 1

There is a 31 day writing challenge out there floating around. I believe the originator is The Nester. It's a bit of a joke for me to try, but try I will. My thirty-one days of writing will be on parenting. After having a few weeks that felt a bit like "coasting," I felt like we've recently hit several bumps. Cora is a delight, a charmer, and all the bits of funny and entertaining that typically come from a two year old. However, she is also challenging, independent, occasionally irrational, as well as deeply sinful. (She gets that last one from me. Just kidding. No, I'm only kidding now.)

Today, she seemed impossible to please. Not that it's my job to please her, but I do love her and want to give her good things. Things were busy today - groceries to buy & put away, a baby brother to care for, a dinner to prepare, and so on. I would try to play with her, and also to invite her to come alongside me and participate or watch me do one thing or another (usually an idea she's on board with). However, she rejected just about effort to make the day fun, and instead would request that her whims or desires be met as soon as the words left her lips. Failure to meet such desires was rewarded with tears, whining and basically acting like I tore her heart to shreds. I want to say yes more. We were just talking about that in a parenting class last week. Say yes, yes to the little, inconvenient things, that really don't hurt anybody. But when I just put on the dress (straight from the washer, as she didn't want to wait for it to dry) she requested, watched her dance performance, clapped for the gymnastic exhibition, helped with another wardrobe change, and now need to throw some clothes in the dryer, I'd prefer it to not be the end of the world if I say "one minute" when she asks to change into yet another outfit.

These meltdown episodes usually left me feeling bewildered and incompetent. At one point, I carried her to her room, all but dumped her on the bed, and fled to my own sleeping sanctuary for a moment of quiet (or what would have been quiet if we had sound-proof walls). I prayed briefly, groaned for a bit longer and then wondered what Brad would think if he came home at that exact moment. Deacon was stuck on the living room floor doing the conversational yelp-and-holler routine he's fond of these days. I told myself that Cora was tired, she just needed a nap. Then I remembered that nap time ended forty-five minutes ago.

Obviously, we survived the rest of the evening. And the Daddy Rescue Squad arrived within the next hour, which always brings a second wind. We get to brave a doctor's visit tomorrow for D's shots and check-up. At the least, it should make for an entertaining blog post...

Shortcomings

Living fully now, perspective, and the inevitability of death have been on my mind recently. My priorities tend to be far too mixed up. When I worry more about the junk food I just ate and the damage it could do to my body than the sin I just committed against my husband or in my heart, there is something wrong. I desperately need my heart to turn toward Jesus first.

I feel an urgency to seize the day, the moments that I have. To live outside myself more and to serve and move in more impacting ways. Nothing grand, only simple ideas come to mind, and that is okay. I just must be faithful with the talents I've been given. First this means loving my family well, serving them by my faithfulness to Christ. It means bringing my children alongside me when I love others outside the family, demonstrating how to live a faithful live. It means prayerfully beginning my day, seeking out wisdom and an open heart that is sensitive to the Spirit's guidance. It means having grace, neither being puffed up by my good works nor discouraged by my faults and shortcomings.

From the Valley of Vision, "Shortcomings:"

I fall short of thy glory every day by spending hours unprofitably,
by thinking that the things I do are good,
when they are not done to thy end,
nor spring from the rules of thy Word.
My sin is to fear what never will be;
I forget to submit to thy will, and fail to be quiet there.
But Scripture teaches me that thy active will reveals a steadfast purpose on my behalf,
and this quietens my soul,
and makes me love thee.

New Season

Well, it has been a while, hasn't it. Life is different now, and my heart feels a bit more dry in some places. I don't write much anymore - on this blog or in my personal journal. With two littles now, Brad and I were talking about how important it will be that we record our family history, specifically the ways we see God's faithfulness in our lives. In general, I just want to be a better memory keeper of the lives we lead, so here we go, trying again.

Our blessed family, almost four weeks ago: