Monday, February 18, 2008


I really don't know how open I want to be on this blog. I want to record the reasons and thoughts and detail in my goingons but I'm not very good at being transparent. And I'm not sure who is reading this... I don't think I want to know if anyone is reading it Come by, read, but don't let me know you are there...maybe then I will keep thinking this is just like a "dear diary" sort of thing. That's it. I'll just be in denial.

B suggested asking God what we are supposed to do with our situation. Do we want to fill the perscription that the doctor gave? Should I take a supplement that could more naturally "fix" my body. I felt somewhat ready to just try something, to make some kind of measureable effort, but B really just wanted to wait. He thought we should wait on God so I begrudgingly agreed. B chose Valentine's Day as the date we would re-evaluate things.

What should happen Valentine's evening? Let's just say that all this waiting, wondering why in the world my body was not working right, all of the worry and over. No, I'm not pregnant. But my body is working again. My cycle has come back and at least that question is over. More than that, I realize that God is there. HE is GOOD. It was my first thought when B pointed out that this had happened on the very day that we were going pray to - God can't be that good. Oh me, of little faith. Even if we never do have children of our own, He has come in and reminded me of His control, of His power. He Is. He Is Everything.