Speaking

I'm not as good at talking as I am at writing.  And that's not to say that I'm fabulous at writing.  I'm saying I do very poorly when talking.  Either I don't or - when I do - I stutter, stumble, mumble or make little sense.  Every once in a while I say something however, that is almost as honest, heart-spoken, and clear as when words come off my pen (or keyboard).  

At a party the other night I met a couple of people and one of them asked me what I do.  I replied candidly, "Nothing.  I don't do much..."  That was stupid, Andrea.  Recover, woman!  "I'm learning many things, but I wouldn't say I do anything, at least not well."  I wasn't saying to be mysterious or clever.  I didn't necessarily want to talk about it, but simply spoke the very thoughts that came to my head when he asked the question.  My answer was strange and I tried to recover - "I mean, my job is teaching.  I teach kindergarten."  .....awkward pause....  "I like it."   

Then this person asked what I was learning about.  

"Lots of things, I guess...how to knit...how to blog...how to be a good wife....a good friend...."  at this point I was feeling kind of silly, but I kept going.  "I have a lot to learn."  Like how to make small talk at parties, I'm thinking to myself.  I kind of wanted to crawl into a hole at that point.

At the risk of sounding egotistical, when I look back, I love what I said.  Quite simply - it's true and I just said what was on my heart.  Every day I'm learning something, and every day I'm reminded I have far to go in mastering that skill or relationship or ability.

"Hi, I'm Andrea.  And I'm learning."