Today has been simply amazing. I've been intentionally lazy. Incredibly lazy. Usually, I don't do anything and feel guilty about it. Last night I set the expectation that I was going to be lazy and accomplish nothing. I've been highly successful.
We had an exhausting last two days, emotionally and physically. Many parts of the family to see, parents, step-parents, grandparents, and more. I decided I'd rather host Christmas at my house and make most of the meal than worry about the planning and timing of a side dish or two for three different get-togethers. I made part of dinner for Christmas Eve, all of breakfast (then transported it) for Christmas morning and finally two side dishes for Christmas dinner.
On the drive back home last night, I was able to decompress. And by that, I mean cry. B and I were the only family around for his mom this year, after her divorce a few weeks ago and her other son living out of state. It made me feel some pressure to make things unique and memorable for her. Yesterday, we were also around my grandfather, who is very near gone. All the change that is happening in life right now is wearing me out. Then an aunt asked about when we were going to have kids....I was fine on the outside but that's when I broke into pieces on the inside.
I needed a day to recover and start over. So today has been a day of rest, vegetation, and quiet. (Good lord, my family is LOUD.) Tomorrow I'm looking forward to accomplishments, plans, and work. It will be an amazing day as well.
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